Tears of the Unforgiven
by Under-Empty-Smiles
Summary: See the pain of those in relationships.The thoughts,their hurt.She can't take much more of this.Don't Own Naruto.Please R&R.But that's okay.Pictures of her life shes longing forcefully appear. She just smiles. She don't want the world to know. Rated T.
1. Chapter 1

Do you think that I do not see you?

Your little fits of anger, your pits that you dig yourself in…I do see. The times you laugh and crack your jokes at lunch-, I do see. I am not blind…I am not forgetful... I am not what I make myself seem to be. I make you think so for reasons you should not stress yourself to try to see. Your eyes are half-opened leave them that way.

Do you think I do not hear?

I hear you all the time, even when I am alone. I hear you running to me as I try to get away. I hear you yell at me for my foolish mistakes. I do not play dumb for no reason. Do not reach for me…for I do not want to break you…I do not want to hear your cries.

I do not want to bring you down to my level. You are high, you are fine, you are healthy…do not stoop down and try to save me. I see you reaching for me; do not get angry with me for declining your offer. I hear you calling for me every chance you get. Do not worry about me when I get nervous and run away.

Please be satisfied with my empty smiles and fake truths. Please understand that I wish for you to be safe more than I can ever hope. Please love someone else…I can bring you no more happiness than I can display. The lies that we both build have created a wall unbreakable. Understand that I want you to survive the pain that I could not. I want to see you succeed and achieve it all.

But alas, I have fallen, seeing you cry. I cannot live seeing you in pain so I bring myself to a higher level by force. I kneel beside you and try to cheer you up and laugh that wonderful laugh again. Your always shining bright, I cannot see you any other way. Since then you have had me wrapped up around your finger, doing all your bids. I cannot listen to any more cries, to anymore yells. I cannot see any more anger, nor anymore pain.

The masks go up when I achieve my smile that I wish to see. So I walk away promising you a friendship that I know will only end up ruined. Therefore, I walk away with more pain gnawing at me inside. I know eventually we will all disappear, why did I promise something no one could ever promise?

I turn my back on all I said, all I thought, and all I ever wanted. I have my eyes wide at the reality of the world, with all its problems…all the pain it brings. I turn away from everything and run away from all the things I fear. I cannot let a mask break and fall apart. I cannot let anyone know. So I turn away and run.

Do not think that I have not seen what I have done.

Time should heal you as it forgot me.

Do not come and try to find me…do not try to chase me across the world.

I did not intend on this…I did not want to break and run. I have held on to your empty promise for so long and pulled myself higher. However, it broke when we were young. Causing my brokenness. I promised too so long ago that I would keep my head up high, but it is not my fault that I have failed. So I am just going to let myself fall.

I always loved you…but I am broken…do not love me…

I want you…I need you…but you are safer away.

I can harm you- make you bleed. Stay away and never love me…

Just let me die with my broken heart but peace inside. Let me drag myself under the ocean I have fallen captive to. Just save yourself. Do not step in- it is there the shore…go there and do not try to save me…I am held under losing the fight…there is nothing you can do for me.

Go away and leave me so I cannot break you too.

I love you still…

Do not love me back…do not touch my hair and kiss me goodnight. Don't hug me and kiss my neck saying you love me. Don't try to hold my hand and figure me out. Don't try to make me take off the mask that I have already carefully built. Do not whisper I love you to me. Do not cry for me when I never say it back. Do not make me laugh and cry and hurt and heal. Don't try to save me and kill me. Don't compliment me. Do not call me every day. Do not ask me what is wrong when I am sad. Don't try to make me feel better…don't make me remember. Do not make me see; do not make me hear.

Because I still love you and it hurts.

Because I love it when you do and it hurts me even more.

Because it cracks my mask and it pulls me away.

Because I need you and I cannot have you.

Because I am reaching towards you in other ways and you will not take me in.

Because I know that, you will not close my eyes, and let me walk like you.

Because I want you and I break myself for you.

Because I am too far away, so far down to ever gain you.

Because I love you so much that it kills me inside.

Because I lost it all the day I ran away from you. The day I cut the string attaching you and me. The day I said I do not love you. The day I said I do not remember. The day I said all these lies.

I am sorry.

But I love you too much to hurt you too.


	2. Chapter 2

Truly sorry for being a monster

Please forgive me from your very soul

_I love and I hope you do too_

Your heart is of gold

Your soul of silver

My heart and soul

Could never outmatch that of which is yours

_I love you and I hope you do too_

The innocence shown in your eyes

The guilt is shown in mine

_I love and I hope you do too_

_**I love you**_


	3. Chapter 3

1000 words

1000 tears

1000 memories lying here

Just 1 person

Just 1 love

Just 1 thing- put above

Only 2 people

Only 2 hearts

Only 2 hands never pulled apart

All these numbers!

What do they mean?

They are what is written,

they are what they seem.


	4. Chapter 4

Do you care the same way I do?

A beating heart full of hope

Hope that agree to love

Do you feel the same way I do?

A shadowed soul full of wants

Wants of me and you

Do you hunger the same way I do?

A mind full of thoughts

Thoughts that you'll accept me

Do you or do you not?

Will you tell me why I fought?

Fought for the thoughts all of you

Please don't make me hurt so bad

Do you like some one else right now?

Is that true? Is it?

Or do you love me and no one else?

I hope so, please no one else

Do you care?

Do you feel?

Do you hunger?

Do you want?

Or is it just me…?


	5. Chapter 5

I am falling. I can't help it. I have just stopped working, stopped wanting to do anything.

I can't look at you with the same eyes of longing I did before. I can't stare at you with eyes of love.

I can't make a sound, not a whimper. Fear of you over-powering me holds me back. I am frightened of you.

I fall from all you want me to be. I try to push away from you. But every time I do- bruises that match my pain appear on my skin.

I don't want to be hurt anymore…

I don't want you to hold me back.

The door is open now; I can see it in a distance. So I step though and leave you behind.

I will make myself a better person. I will overcome you and step out of your shadow. I will keep this heart closed to your apologies.

My bags are packed and I pick them up. My heart in one hand; my dignity in the other. I pick my self off of the floor and show you what real power is.

I leave…I won't be shoved. I won't be forced. I won't be hit. I won't be overpowered anymore.

I am my own person. I will be the strongest. I will say goodbye.


	6. Chapter 6

You make my heart bounce right to a stop

You make me want you more than anything

There is something deep inside waiting for someone to open it up

When you came into that room, my heart just gave way

You were the one I was looking for,

The one my heart needed

We took each other by hand and

Into a heart

But years went by

And we parted

And now that thing deep inside is closed forever more

I wish we could have stayed together

So that we can share happy moments

But the opposite came and all that I won was lost

I loved you more than anyone can love

You were the one that made me rejoice,

You were the one that I took into my heart the day it gave way

But none of that matters now that you are gone

It is all lost for good

Everything I wanted, every dream I had

Even when I tried so hard-

To let you know that my love is true

Everything is lost for good.


	7. Chapter 7

Here lies my best friend

Who gave me the reddest rose

But I threw it away thinking

I had lost of those

But how wrong I was

To let it all go to waste

Now I know

That very odd taste

Of being told about love

And how it seems to be

The way you act and feel around

That special somebody

Here lies my bestest friend

Who told me the bestest dreams

And gave me something to look for

Told me it's not always what it seems

I know now that he was right

But it's oh too late

I lost all hope in that light

And love is but a word

That plays tricks on me

So I told myself what he told us

'Let go. Let go and be free.'

Here lies my closest friend

Who gave me a red, red rose

But I threw it away thinking

I had lots of those…


	8. Chapter 8

Will you say I am your star  
will you sat I am you-  
everything.  
Will you light the candle  
in my heart  
and let it burn through  
this time  
or will you let it crumble away  
these cookie crumbs were put  
back...together  
and bound tight by your might  
fist  
will you say I am your star  
will you say I am your-  
everything  
ragged nails on calloused hands  
sank deep into my heart  
you got me wrapped around  
your finger  
Darker lights appears on stage as  
you tighten your grip.  
will you say I am your star  
will you say I am you-  
everything...  
and allow me to  
bring brighter lights  
and allow me to  
float back to where-  
I belong  
Will you say I am your star  
Will you say I am your-  
everything...  
as the lights completely  
shut off  
and your beautiful grip  
loosens  
will you call me your stay  
as I am placed beneath  
will you call me you-  
as my soul is released  
everything...  
as I disappear.


	9. Chapter 9

Can this be true?  
This feeling pulling the strings at my heart

This ache when he is not here

And the drawing away when he is

Is it supposed to feel this way?  
When I hurt he knows

When he hurts I cry instead

Should heaven curse me for knowing this?  
Can it be true?  
Should his words haunt me so?  
Causing me to dream of him-  
thinking that he knows me so I feel broken when he discourages me

But glued back when he wipes my tears away

Should it be like this?  
Or is heaven playing with my most treasured item?  
My heart and all its emotions.  
Ah, how I wish it so.  
Please let this be love Let me love you...


	10. Chapter 10

Should I or Shouldn't?

I really don't know

I have a heart

But it won't go

I want to hold him

Up so close

But my body

Mind and soul

All say the same thing

They all say no

I want to be there

It's only fair

Should I or shouldn't?

I want him near me

Like it should be

Should I or shouldn't?

I really don't know…

I love him so-

From my very soul

Should I or shouldn't…

Should I or shouldn't

I really don't know


	11. Chapter 11

When the flames disappear

When it all ends

Will you still be here?

Will I call you my friend?

When the pools of tears grow

When it starts to hurt

Will you stop the flow?

Will you stop the hurt?

Can you be my savior?

Can you fix my heart?

Can you put back the pieces?

That fell apart?

Can you hold me tight?

And never let me be?

Can you stop my fright?

And allow me to see?

When love is gone

When hate remains

Will you listen to my song?

Will you listen…to the rain?

When the flames disappear

When it all ends

Will you still be here?

Will I call you my friend?


	12. Chapter 12

Maybe I could say sorry

Maybe I could say sorry

Maybe I could say that I didn't mean it

Maybe I could kiss you and tell you not to worry

Maybe I could beg and beg for you to forgive me

Maybe I could cry my heart out and hope you would take me back

Maybe I could just say the truth for once.

I shouldn't have told you I hated you.

I shouldn't have told you that I didn't love you.

I shouldn't have told you to go away.

I shouldn't have told you that I mean it all.

I shouldn't have told you that I would never be sorry.

I shouldn't have told you that all I did way lies and fake.

If I could take it back I would.

I would take it all away and hold you close.

But I fear that if I chance one look all that I built and all I lost would stare me back ten-fold.

I fear that guilt will take me over more than it already has.

So the cuts I have because of the mistakes wouldn't linger on my skin.

So that my pills won't be overdosed one day.

So that the pain I have caused would disappear.

So you could be mine again.

Can you forgive me?

Can I say sorry?

Can you heal me?

Can I heal you?

Can you save me?

Can I save you?

Can you make it all go away again?

Can you forgive?


End file.
